Archive for September, 2008


§233 Philosophy for 4-year olds

September 30, 2008

How do you explain complicated life issues in simple terms for a 4-year old? You don’t. And if the 4-year old is smart enough to ask, he’s smart enough to understand the answer.

I sat today and read books with my son Efraim. When we were done he brushed his teeth and got ready to go to bed. Our conversation happened to be babies, and the fact that he wants a baby brother. I told him which names we are considering if it’s a boy and if it’s a girl. “I want a boy!” he said. “God decides that” I replied. I thought that was it.

But just when I said good night, and he was laying in his bed, and I was just about to close the dorr and join my wife for dinner in front of a couple of Friends episodes he said
“What more does God decide?”
“Uhm… God decides everything”
“Everything? Also that we sat and read books?”
“Well… God decides that we can decide things on our own. Strange, huh?”
“Yeah… Good night”
“Good night”

My son is a genius. I’m glad I came up with an answer simple enough to understand, but still something that won’t make him think in terms of destiny. Because we all design our own destiny.


§232 Economy and Peter Englund

September 30, 2008

Since Peter Englund is blogging in Swedish, I felt compelled to translate his latest blog post and the comments to English (yes, the first comment is mine). I think this issue is important enough to be read by the global community (even if I maybe don’t have as many readers as he has, mine are more globally spread – just see the flag counter).

Peter Englund is a historian, and one of the people on the Swedish Academy (You know, the ones who decide who gets the Nobel Price). The blog post is here:
Here’s a link to who Peter Englund is
Here’s the translation. I’m using Google translate to give me the basics, and modify from that. I appologize for anything I might have missed and for all gramattical errors I’ve spotted and not fixed.

Tuesday, 30 September 2008
As historian, one should beware of forecasting, just because one’s occupation is about the opposite: looking back at safe distances. But sometimes I can’t resist, despite the fact that there is a danger I’ll make a fool out of myself.

I think that what we are witnessing these days, with a steadily growing financial crisis, is a Major Historic Event, probably the most radical we have seen on this side of the fall of the Berlin wall in 1989. Far more than, say, Sept. 11, although not as visual, and emotionally gripping. The case of the World Trade Center was randomness, a sudden and bizarre coincidence, an external interference, made up in a cave in the Torabora mountains.

This however is a crisis that stems from the dominant world system itself, from its geographic, economic and ideological epicenter, USA. And the consequences will likely be huge, and we will all experience them. (How much have most of us been affected of Osama bin Laden? Nothing. Except perhaps the loss of one or another bottle of cream, confiscated by a serious looking airport controller.)

Not that it means the end of capitalism. It is a system that through the years has shown an amazing adaptability.

However, it is likely the end of the accelerated hyper-capitalism that was created in the early 80s, and whose ideological credo consisted of an almost religious belief in deregulation the ability of the free market to solve virtually every economic and social problems. New, comprehensive and – not least – para-governmental regulations is to be expected.

It probably also means the end of the era – started 1989 – when the USA has ruled autocratically as the world’s only superpower. Such a position is based ultimately on economic strength, and it is through this crisis properly gouged. The U.S. has already lived beyond its means, so much that the adventure in Iraq was paid by foreign donors loans. When the U.S. politicians gets out of their tactical and ideological deadlock and actually vote through a new economic crisis plan, it will also be financed by foreign loans.

How was it now, that Chinese curse: “May you live in interesting times”.

Posted in Memory & History, Political |

On the other hand, you have, as a historian a better ability to see things in a perspective that many of us may not know as well. To compare with the past and draw conclusions about the present and future. It was primarily that which drew me to your three essay collections. I thought this was very interesting. I’d love to hear how you look at the links people make between now and 1929? It was the Great Depression that led to Keynes’ economic theories that stated that the free market can not solve everything, and that governments actually have the responsibility to counter inflation and unemployment. On the other hand, history rarely repeats itself that exact, but it usually comes up with new unexpected “twists” that surprise all.

Just don’t get too historic in your views on the present. History includes countless times and places you “could” have lived in, which means that the present looks very “small” in that perspective. If you have read “War and Remembrance”, that was how Aaron Jastrow saw it, as a historian, until he suddenly discovered that he was on the train to Auschwitz …

      of thatdudeyouknow Tuesday, 30 September 2008 at 10:33
I think (for once) that you are wrong. The crisis is serious for the closest mourners. I would not want to be a broker on Wall Street right now. But it is not so crucial. The S & L crisis cost U.S. taxpayers more money. The 70’s industrial support idiocy cost more jobs in Sweden and the United States. The dotcom boom took more money from more small scale money savers.

This crisis shows that you can not have a half capitalist system in which profits can be super huge, but the losses are covered by the State. I hope we won’t see more of atrange blends like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

Note how many (regulated) banks have problems, and how few (much less regulated) hedge funds don’t have problems. The latter has reasonable incentive structures that give great advantage, but also great disadvantage, so they have taken the risks more seriously. Also note how useless the Sarbanes-Oxley legislation is, that in no way predicted or smoothened the problems we see now.

The capitalism has developed so well that it is easier than ever for companies to obtain credit and loans by means other than the big banks. Consequently, the big banks’ crisis won’t hit businesses as hard as they would had this happened 30 years ago, or when it actually happened 80 years ago.

The fact that the media is making this issue bigger, and the analysises are horribly bad is something else. Let me quote the preamble to the DN’s main editorial today: “Yesterday’s sharp finance worries shows that the uncertainty is still high in the market, despite the deal on the U.S. rescue package.”

Anyone who takes anything seriously in that newspaper needs to blame himself. I understand that the editorial has to write on speculation, but it is embarrassingly bad not to snatch this, and the analysis is also completely wrong. Yesterday’s strong concern showed just that the market (quite correctly, as usual) was not at all sure that the rescue package would get through.

      by Micke Tuesday, 30 September 2008 at 10:45
Interesting observation Peter, and whether you are right will prove itself. When I read I remembered a long blog post on the hollow U.S. dollars economy, which was published this spring, written by Rick Falkvinge, Pirate party. Whatever one thinks of this party and Falk Vinge himself, it is interesting reading, I think.

      by Andreas Tuesday, 30 September 2008 at 11:27


OK, I do not think this crash may get more space in future history books than September 11. We will see when the time comes.

The most interesting lesson so far, I think it is, the economists managed to put their eggs in so many baskets that they no longer know where the rotten apple is (to mix metaphors).

By the way: “May you live in interesting times” is a good curse, but it’s not Chinese( Just like the jumping brokers from 1929 is a myth, which I think I first read in your book.

      by Peter Olausson Tuesday, 30 September 2008 at 12:18
I think you are right. Many say “It’s about psychology”, but many seem to forget that U.S. dollars are dollars – economic values are subject to the laws. I am also thinking about phenomena in the philosophy known as the “Prisoner dilemma” if several individuals can and are allowed to prioritize themselves and suck out a social construction, it will collapse sooner or later. Certainly, I think there is still chance to reverse, but no one will be able to do what is required. If we are lucky something better will come out of this.

One strategic rule is to listen to such thinkers and commentators who do not have their own dogs in the race. In most cases, the ones who are now trying to calm us down, have their own interests at stake when it comes to making sure the system will operate soundly.

I remember a story I read from you Peter Englund, that from a historical perspective discussed how a population never know at which point their fate is doomed, when a society’s decay begins. Is this such a critical point?

      by JM Tuesday, 30 September 2008 at 12:18

As an expert in political science, who I am, one must be careful about predictions, but it is funny that your forecast is almost on the spot identical to mine. The only difference is that I see Sept. 11 as the start of the dissolution of the United States as a superpower. So it is more like the start of a continuous process rather than a single event.

      by Lars Karlsson Tuesday, 30 September 2008 at 12:28


9 / 11 is, of course, as pointed out in many contexts, an ideal from the popular fantasy standpoint. It is visual, an “in your face”, scary, expressive image or series of images, something already, the French sociologist Gustave le Bon discovered in the late 1800s in his book on mass psychology.

le Bon stressed the fact that what speaks to the masses imagination must present itself in a form that is a surprising and very clear picture. The picture should be free from any unnecessary explanations or be accompanied by only a few strange or mysterious facts: a great victory, a great miracle, a great offense or a great hope.

Le Bon pointed out that something as an epidemic of the flu, who some years before le Bon wrote his book had caused five thousand people’s death in Paris alone, was shown to have a minimal effect on the popular imagined, the image creation. This is according to him due to the fact that the epidemic is not embodied in any visual image, but could only be seen in the form of the statistical information was given every week. It is not difficult to imagine the current financial crisis in those terms, at least in the initial stage.

However, I am not so sure that the claim about bin Laden’s low impact on the Western world is entirely correct. Hasn’t the control society taken a giant step forward since 9 / 11?

      by Sven-Erik Klinkmann Tuesday, 30 September 2008 at 2:34

We will see what this crisis leads to, in political terms. We may possibly see a series of half-hearted compromises that in the worst case may worsen the crisis.

The problem with the keynsianism (wasn’t Dag Hammarsköld and Gunnar Myrdahl on the same track as Keynes, but a little earlier?) Is the practical application. The idea is of course, simplified said, that the state is spending more money than it generates during recessions in order to maintain consumption and economic activity. This is financed by generating more than you spend during the good times. At the same time one softens the problems that leads to structure problems and inflation.

The difficulty is identifying the right moment to change policy. Recession policy should be deployed just when the economic boom has passed the peak. And the tightening should begin when recession’s worst stage starts to be over. Economists tend to error here, and they usually have difficulties to get politicians to understand when the moment comes. Consequently, the timing goes wrong and the result is that the fiscal policies that is meant to help the situation rather worsens it.

It is this difficulty which eventually made government after government to abandon the keynsianism and began to get closer to free market forces instead. Now the world economy in again at a dead end. We will see if the world and mainly, U.S. politicians, will take the right measures in time. It doesn’t look hopeful.

      by Sune Portin Tuesday, 30 September 2008 at 3:25

When I took the power after almost having lost it before I got it, I realized the importance of stability by sacrificing some of the wealth I had earlier squandered …. Yes, you can start a blog like that, but it struck me that it could be that way. The wonders of the Power in the microscope appears to be completely different with the historical opportunity to look back in time but never ahead. And here we are now. No one’s debt is the other’s but cumulatively it definitelly is. So, sure, the financial instruments have been used, and the old has been hidden in the new. Covered by new and new debpt. But the poor and indebted remains so since the richer remains richer and richer … … …

      of Hadrian Imperator Tuesday, 30 September 2008 at 3:38
Sven-Erik! le Bons observations are very interesting, and quite accurate, I think. As for the control society, you have obviously right, unfortunately: all those measures will remain LONG after the bin Laden has disappeared and the hysteria that caused them has been forgotten. What I meant was the immediate effects.

      by peter Englund Tuesday, 30 September 2008 at 4:03


§231 Larry Norman – the political songs

September 29, 2008

The American presidential election is coming up. People talk politics more than they usually do. Here are two political songs from the 70’s. The singer is legendary Christian Rock n’Roll star, Larry Norman (1947 – 2008). The guy who could have been a lot more famous if he sang what people wanted to hear. But he sang of what he believed in. He sang about Jesus, he sang about politics, he sang about his opinions. These are two of my favourite political songs. Of course, it’s from the 70’s so I only understand half of it. Maybe some of you older guys can explain some of it to me… 😉
“The Great American Novel” is from 1977. The clip is from 1988. “Reader’s Digest” is from 1973, the clip is from just a few years ago.

The Great American Novel
I was born and raised an orphan
in a land that once was free
in a land that poured its love out on the moon
and I grew up in the shadows
of your silos filled with grain
but you never helped to fill my empty spoon

and when I was ten you murdered law
with courtroom politics
and you learned to make a lie sound just like truth
but I know you better now
and I don’t fall for all your tricks
and you’ve lost the one advantage of my youth

you kill a black man at midnight
just for talking to your daughter
then you make his wife your mistress
and you leave her without water
and the sheet you wear upon your face
is the sheet your children sleep on
at every meal you say a prayer
you don’t believe but still you keep on

and your money says in God we trust
but it’s against the law to pray in school
you say we beat the Russians to the moon
and I say you starved your children to do it

you are far across the ocean
but the war is not your own
and while you’re winning theirs
you’re gonna lose the one at home
do you really think the only way
to bring about the peace
is to sacrifice your children
and kill all your enemies

the politicians all make speeches
while the news men all take note
and they exaggerate the issues
as they shove them down our throats
is it really up to them
whether this country sinks or floats
well I wonder who would lead us
if none of us would vote

well my phone is tapped and my lips are chapped
from whispering through the fence
you know every move I make
or is that just coincidence
well you try to make my way of life
a little less like jail
if I promise to make tapes and slides
and send them through the mail

and your money says in God we trust
but it’s against the law to pray in school
you say we beat the Russians to the moon
and I say you starved your children to do it
you say all men are equal all men are brothers
then why are the rich more equal than others
don’t ask me for the answer I’ve only got one
that a man leaves his darkness when he follows the Son

Reader’s Digest
Alice is a drag queen, Bowie’s somewhere in between
Other bands are looking mean, me, I’m trying to stay clean.
I don’t dig the radio, I hate what the charts pick
Rock and roll may not be dead, but it’s getting sick.
All over the world disc jockeys sound the same
And every town I play is like the one from where I came.

Rolling Stones are millionaires, flower children pallbearers,
Beatles said All you need is love, and then they broke up.
Jimi took an overdose, Janis followed so close,
The whole music scene and all the bands are pretty comatose.
This time last year, people didn’t wanna hear.
They looked at Jesus from afar, this year he’s a superstar.

Dear John, who’s more popular now?
I’ve been listening to some of Paul’s new records.
Sometimes I think he really is dead.

It’s 1973, I wonder who we’re gonna see
Who’s in power now? Think I’ll turn on my TV,
The man on the news said China’s gonna beat us,
We shot all our dreamers, there’s no one left to lead us.
We need a solution, we need salvation,
Let’s send some people to the moon and gather information.

They brought back a big bag of rocks.
Only cost thirteen billion. Must be nice rocks.

You think it’s such a sad thing when you see a fallen king
Then you find out they’re only princes to begin with
And everybody has to choose whether they will win or lose
Follow God or sing the blues, and who they’re gonna sin with.
What a mess the world is in, I wonder who began it.
Don’t ask me, I’m only visiting this planet


§230 Shana Tova! Happy New Year!

September 29, 2008

The holiday season is upon us. And it starts with Rosh haShana. The New Year.

May year 5769 be a happy and sweet year.

Below are a few goals for this year. Not in any particular order.

My goals for myself this year:
1 – Become a professional accountant on paper
2 – Stop being 26 and turn 27 instead
3 – Be better att sticking to schedules
4 – Love my wife more and more for every day that pass by (it has worked that way so far)
5 – Go to Sweden in the summer with the family (want to want to! I just need a bunch of money!)
6 – Sleep
7 – Eat
8 – Be closer to God

My goals for the world this year:
1 – Progress in fighting ignorance, racism and stupidity
2 – End of, or at least world awareness, of Darfur genocide
3 – Better and more responsible leaders than we have now in Israel and USA
4 – End of fake peace process with terrorists, and start of a real peace process
5 – For the Jews – increasing awareness of the identity of our Messiah
6 – For the Christians – increasing awareness of Israel’s importance in God’s plan
7 – More Ubuntu
8 – More good things. Less bad things.

Shana Tova! Happy New Year!

A few Bible verses for the holiday
Genesis 21:1-34
Numbers 29:1-6
1st Samuel 1:1-2:10
1st Thessalonikians 4:13-18
1 Corinthians 15:51-54
Jeremiah 31:1-19
John 10:1-18


§229 John H. Ericksson – the celebrity that never was

September 27, 2008

John H. Ericksson was born under the name Jon Ersson in Sweden in 1848. Summer 1850, when he was one and a half year old something funny happened when he was walking in the woods with his siblings. It even made it to the local news.
When he was 20 years old, in 1868, he emigrated to USA. He went from Christiania, Norway (today known as Oslo). His fiancée, Elia Simonsson, came the year after, in 1869. They got married in Henderson, and Jon changed his name to John H. Ericksson. They got 9 children and one foster son. He bought land and became a farmer. He never saw Sweden again. He died December 14th 1887 at the age of 38 because of “dropsy of the heart”.
His wife, Elia, paid a visit to Sweden in 1900-1901. The locals thought she wasn’t dressed good enough for the climate. She caught a severe cold and died back home in the states in 1901.
According to the source I’m using, his “grandchildren and great grandchildren are today spread out over the United States”.

(The source, according to is “Föreningen Särna Skogsmuseum” – which belongs to a local forest museum near Lomkällan north of Särna, which is dedicated to preserve the history and memories of that area, which is where Ericksson grew up).

The thing that happened summer 1850 was that the little boy encountered a bear in the woods. He pet her and her cub and even laid down to sleep with it. His sister ran to get mom, who screamed when she saw it. The bears ran away.

The local newspaper “Tidning för Fahlu län och stad” printed the following article January 16th 1851:

…Wid de till Hägnåsen här i socknen hörande fäbodarne (eller, som de här kallas, “sätern”) tilldrog sig en dag mot slutet av sistl. September en ganska märklig händelse. Erik Jonssons hustru Martha och swägerska Anna hade, berörde dag, lemnat barnen ett stycka från sätern ensamme i skogen, der de plockade lingon. Det äldsta barnet war en flicka om 8 år och det yngsta en gosse om 1 år och 7 månader, de begge övriga mellan nyssnämnde åldrar. Under barnens lekar framkomma plötsligen en björnhona med sin unge, slå sig ner tätt invid barnen och börja att, liksom de, leka med hwarandra. Den äldsta flickan blev wäl något förskräckt; men hennes yngste broder, den lille Jon, så mycket mindre. Han går fram till björnarna, kastar ristwistar på dem, matar än den ena, än den andra med lingon, och då den stora björnen tycktes vilja taga det mesta för sig, afwisar han honom med tillropet: “inte du nu!” och räcker bären åt den unga. Slutligen slår gossen sig ned utmed björnarna, smeker dem och lägger huvudet på björnhonans länd, liksom för att der bereda sig ett sofställe. Men nu begynte den äldsta flickan att ropa på modren och vid detta rop samt modrens deraf föranledda ditskyndande förfogade sig de barnkära björnarne helt makligt till skogs. – Berättelsen om äfwentyret är afgifwen af den lille Jons egen moder Martha och hennes äldsta dotter, och såsom ett betydande kriterium för sanningsenligheten deraf kan man betrakta den senares naiva beskrivning på “de stora svarta hundarna” och Jons beteende mot dem …

19th century Swedish – does it get better?

The well known (then) Swedish poet Wilhelm von Braun (1813 – 1860) was touched, and wrote the following poem, named “Stark i sin oskuld” – strong in his innocence.

Liten pilt i fjällskog gick:
Rosig kind och änglablick,
Munnen röd som tufvans bär…
»Kors! hvad jag är ensam här!» — tänkte gossen.

 Och han stultade så späd
Mellan höga, mörka träd:
Moder hans i sätern var —
»Här är jag min egen karl» — tänkte gossen.

 Svarta djur nu kommo två,
Lufsandes, dit han sågs gå:
Stora, grymma, lurfviga —
»Jag fick sällskap, det var bra!» — tänkte gossen.

 »Men hvad är det för slags djur?
Den där stora tycks mig sur…
Om jag kunde fråga mor! —
Men det måste vara kor» — tänkte gossen.

 Och han gick dem glad emot,
Såg ej ögats mörka hot,
Såg ej hur de grina’ till —
»Jag med dem nu leka vill» — tänkte gossen.

 Och emot den skarpa tand
Sträckte pilten liten hand:
Djuret lyfte då sin ram …
»Kors, hvad du är snäll och tam!» — sade gossen.

 Ett af djuren unge är,
Denne bjuder nu han bär
Ur sin skäppa: ungen åt —
»Ser man bara, det går åt» — sade gossen.

 Modern strax drog klorna in,
Ned hon tryckte ungen sin,
Lade, stilla, sig framför —
»Vänta, jag dig sällskap gör!» — sade gossen.

 Han på marken nu så säll
Kastar sig; mot moderns fäll
Lutar hufvudet han där —
»Kors! så mjukt jag ligger här!»  — sade gossen.

 Och han klappade och slog,
Och han lekte, och han drog
Uti djurets päls, så tjock —
»Du bra tålig är ändock!» — sade gossen.

 Slutligen af leken trött
Somnar liten pilt, så sött.
Nalle fromt på honom såg. —
Att i mammas knä han låg — drömde gossen.

 Snart han väckes af ett skri:
Djuren flydde — allt förbi. ..
»Store Gud! du lefver än?»
»Mamma! du skrämt bort min vän» — klagar gossen.

This poem inspired the Swedish composer Alice Tegnér  (1864 – 1943) to write a shorter song for children about it. (This was of course much much later – note that she was born after von Braun’s death!) She changed Ericksson’s name to “Olle” and published the song, titled “Mors Lilla Olle” (Mother’s Little Olle) with a bunch of other songs in the children song book serie “Sjung med oss Mamma” (sing with us, Mommy) that was published in 1892 – 1934 (This specific song was published 1895 – after Ericksson’s death in the states).

This song book serie became very famous, and most of the songs (if not all) are still sung by Swedish children. I grew up with “Mors Lilla Olle”, so did my parents, and so did my kids. You would probably not find a single one in Sweden today who hasn’t heard of the boy with the bear in the woods (although in the song it was just him and the bear – no bear cubs and no siblings).

Americans – check your family register. You might be descendants of a Swedish celebrity!

Mors lilla Olle i skogen gick,
rosor på kinden och solsken i blick.
Läpparna små utav bär äro blå.
“Bara jag slapp att så ensam här gå!”

Brummelibrum, vem lufsar där?
Buskarna knaka, en hund visst det är.
Lurvig är pälsen, men Olle blir glad:
“Å, en kamrat, det var bra, se goddag!”

Klappar så björnen med händer små,
räcker fram korgen: “Se här, smaka på!”
Nalle han slukar mest allt vad där är
“Hör du, jag tror att du tycker om bär!”

Mor fick nu se dem, gav till ett skri.
Björnen sprang bort, nu är leken förbi!
“Å, varför skrämde du undan min vän?
Mor lilla, bed honom komma igen!”

(Above is the original illustration from 1895, by Elsa Beskow)


The moral of the story, as I see it, is that we can never know what makes a big difference. Ericksson never knew, but he became famous for something he did when he was a toddler. Most of us would want to be remembered in another 100 years. Most of us would want to imprint our fingerprints on the world. But we can never know, nor will we ever know, if we succeed. Because sometimes it is the little things, that we don’t even think about, that matter.


§228 First man on Mars ¤ I’m an accountant ¤ My schedule

September 26, 2008

1. First man on Mars
A few days ago I showed my four year old son a picture taken by NASA. It’s a picture of the earth and the moon, taken from Mars. I explained to him that they sent “a camera” there, but no humans have been there for real. He said he wants to go there. I told him he’d better join the air force and go the pilot school if that’s what he wants. My son. First man on Mars. Wouldn’t that be awesome? One great thing about kids is that they still have their entire future ahead of them. They could be the first man on Mars, or a legendary president, or a sock designer, or an expert on Arameic vowel reduction. You never know.

2. I’m an accountant
I’m learning more about accounting every day. Both from work experience and from the course I take on Thursdays. Lately I’ve also started study accounting from a management point of view in my academic studies. I love the fact that
1. I actually understand it, and it’s interesting.
2. My profession has a name. I’m an accountant. It’s Something.
3. It’s known as a “boring” job, but I find it exciting. I can talk passionately about stock value adjustments and depreciation calculations and everyone else think I’m a boring idiot. I love when people think I’m a boring idiot (think: Ross Geller).
4. I already know much more than “regular people”, including my manager.
5. I finally actually know what I want to do with my life, and there’s a set career road ahead of me!

3. My schedule
This is for regular working days Sundays through Wednesday. On Thursday I have accounting school, so it works a little different then. Friday I’m usually off.
0600 – wake up, make breakfast for kids
0615 – make their kindergarten breakfast and water bottles while they eat. Pick up Talitha, change diaper and give her a bottle.
0630 – Eat a fast breakfast and make a cup of coffe
0645 – dress kids, and take a few sips of coffee now and then
0700 – wake wife and ask her to fix Emunah’s hair
0715 – leave house to kindergarten with kids (ideal – it’s usually around 0730)
0730 – say goodbye to kids
0750 – jump on the bus to Jerusalem
0845 – reach work
0900 – work
1200 – lunch
1230 – continue work
1730/1800 – leave work, jump on bus home
1845 – reach home. Girls asleep, Efraim awake. Read story with, put on pyjama, brush teeth, put to bed.
1930 – Eat dinner and drink coffee. Either with wife while watching 2 episodes of Friends or each one to his own with the studies (depends on study density period).
2010 – Do dishes
2110 – Finish dishes and take out garbage
2115 – Shower and put on pyjama
2130 – Start to study, with a cup of coffe
0000 – Brush teeth, go to bed

Hm… This means I should have 2 and a half hours of study every work day… I must be planning bad or doing thing inefficiently, because I’m never able to actually reach that. Must get better. Those three courses are not a picnic. Also, I usually never actually fall asleep until 0100 – 0130. Maybe I would feel better if I got more sleep…? Come to think of it, I have difficulty remembering when was the last time I’m not tired. But it could be worse. My wife can’t remember when was the last time she wasn’t exhausted!


§227 She just keeps insisting on trusting and loving me – why??

September 24, 2008

It’s 22:33. I have a mountain of dishes to do, and homework for accounting school tomorrow. One and a half hour ago I had the same amount of things to be done, but more time to do it on.

I’ve wasted an hour and a half on nothing. I seriously have no idea what exactly I did. I didn’t even read all of my subscribed blogs, only a few. And I wrote a necessary letter to our insurance agent. But the things and the time just adds up until what was more prioritized to do ends up for the last moments.

What does my wife do? Tells me? Nags me? Tells me to get my butt off the chair?

No. She does nothing. It’s like she’s treating me like an grown up. Like an equal. It’s like she trusts me or something.

(For the record she can’t do the dishes due to medical reasons).

Will she suffer from my irresponsibility? Yes she will. I’ll be up doing the dishes, finishing my homework until 1 o’clock and she’ll be in bed trying to fall asleep but can’t until I’m there. She’ll get up at 6 o’clock when the kids wake up just like me.

Still – nothing. No nagging. No “get the dishes done already”. Nothing.

She is punishing me by treating me like I don’t deserve to be treated.

I love her.

And why is she always right??