§244 It’s all about Zimbabwe

October 12, 2008

Beautiful country, isn’t it? If it wasn’t for this guy:

He blames the depts and the sanctions. But as he hasn’t let anyone else near the power – let’s just say it’s pretty clear who is at fault when it comes to thousands of deaths, starvation and a world record of 11,268,758.90% inflation How did anyone accomplish that??

Inflation like that can only be accomplished by a very stupid irresponsible and incompetent government. A normal government starts to see if it needs to change monetary policy when it hits over 10% inflation. Ok, so horrible inflation rates happen. 50%, maybe even 100% or worse. But over 11 million??? How is that even possible?

But apparently it is. And the starvation is of course getting worse because people can’t afford to eat any longer. Well, just see what the Zimbabwe central bank has to say about it.

So, anyway. I was thinking. Sure Zimbabwe is a great country. But just read who Mugabe is and what he says. And of course, there’s the whole Murambatsvina thing. But let’s not jump to conclusions. Just because he has killed thiousands of people, he could still be a good guy, right? Maybe he was framed for it? Maybe it wasn’t his fault? Let’s see what the Zimbabwe government has to say about this, ok? I mean, sure the above website I linked to says that:

 The government’s land reform program, characterized by chaos and violence, has badly damaged the commercial farming sector, the traditional source of exports and foreign exchange and the provider of 400,000 jobs, turning Zimbabwe into a net importer of food products. Badly needed support from the IMF has been suspended because of the government’s arrears on past loans, which it began repaying in 2005. The official annual inflation rate rose from 32% in 1998, to 133% in 2004, 585% in 2005, and approached 1000% in 2006, although private sector estimates put the figure much higher. Meanwhile, the official exchange rate fell from approximately 1 (revalued) Zimbabwean dollar per US dollar in 2003 to 160 per US dollar in 2006.

But maybe that’s just opposition paid lies? Let’s check out the government websites.

So first of all, on the government websites we can see that Zimbabwe if of course a paradise that you can safely invest you money in. 11 million inflation, but sure, go ahead and invest. Of course, Mugabe gets outraged when American ambassador McGee dares to play golf with opposition leader Tsvangirai. Mugabe himself is of course not wasting his time playing golf. He deals with the really important issues. Now there is of course this coalition between Mugabe and Tsvangirai that was signed in September and that is being negotiated. A bit hard to negotiate though, when they won’t even talk to one another. But that is only and exclusively the opposition’s fault, right?

Now, there are two government owned newspapers. The Herald and The Chronicle. The opinion articles there are pretty scary. Actually, almost everything in those papers are scary. However, the articles are available to view when they’re on the headlines, and then they apparently dissappeared. I saved the links to a few scary articles I read a few days ago, and now it’s unaccessible. So I have copy-pasted some for you. You’ll just have to trust me that that’s where I found it. You can probably read stuff written in the same way and with the same ideas any day.

Now, the government should be aware of how the rest of the world condemns the Murambatsvina, right? And if it’s all a horrible evil framing of the poor kind and peace loving president Mugabe, then he shouldn’t have anything to hide, right? So all we need to do to find out the truth is to make a search for the word “Murambatsvina” on those newspapers homepages. Right? So what did I get from the search? Nothing. Nada. Zip. No Murambatsvina here. Nono. The official government owned newspapers of Zimbabwe. Murambatsvina? Nooo… never heard of it. No such thing. Nono. Those photos were… uhm… photoshopped. We didn’t make anyone homeless. We never forced people to die of starvation. Our police didn’t use brutality to throw people out of their homes and destroy everything they’ve ever worked for. Nono. That’s evil western propaganda.

When you cause this kind of destruction, are you surprised the economy goes down the toilet??

So, anyway. State owned newspapers. There was a very interesting racist comment regarding the golf game mentioned above between McGee and Tsvangirai. This is from today, so if you hurry the article might still be there.

The Mayflower is the vessel that transported a motley crew of English separatists from Southampton, England, to Cape Cod in present-day United States in 1620. The separatists felt constrained by the rigidity of the English Church and were desirous of an environment of free worship. They thus risked life and limb to cross the Atlantic in the quest for religious freedom.

Their journey resonates with American delusions of freedom, which is why the ship they used has a special place in American lore and descendants of the passengers have a venerated place in American society. They are de facto royalty whose loyalty to the Star-Spangled Banner is not in question.

Not so if, like James D. McGee, George Bush’s black face here, your ancestors arrived aboard a slave ship, or you were sired of latter-day immigrant stock. Then you really have to prove that your loyalty is unshakeable. If you are black, you have to go the extra mile of proving that your blackness is skin-deep.

This is exactly what McGee has been doing since landing in Zimbabwe nearly a year ago to take the place of the demoted and disgraced Christopher Dell.

McGee has been walking white, talking white and has even tried to make a gentleman of Morgan Tsvangirai, taking him to the golf course and teaching him the basics of the game.”

Responding to a question from one Violet Gonda of the British-funded pirate radio station, Short Wave Radio Africa, on October 3, on the content of his conversations with Tsvangirai, McGee said: ‘‘I don’t talk about matters of state on the golf course; we talk about our poor golf swings.’’

That is the time Tsvangirai should use to knock sense into McGee so he can impress on their mutual bosses in Washington that the sanctions are hurting ordinary people.

Could you believe that?? I didn’t even care to quote what they said about Obama, but you get the idea. “Two black people playing a white game like golf? How dare they? They are traitors. They are western white world associates. They are conspiring to destroy our country. The game says it all.”

Of course, they are scheduled to meet today. Zanu-PF, Mugabe’s party and MDC-T, Tsvangirai’s opposition party. Tsvangirai claims they’ve met a dead end and wants the former South African president, Mbeke, to come and help. Zanu-PF say it’s unnecessary, since all the negotiation problems are only and solely MDC-T’s fault. Of course. I mean, how can a government who turned a florishing country into a wasteland with starvation and 11 million percent inflation possibly do anything wrong? The article is here http://www.chronicle.co.zw/inside.aspx?sectid=3351&cat=1 but maybe not for long. Here are some parts of it:

Today’s meeting follows one held by the negotiators on Wednesday but failed to agree as MDC-T reportedly sought to re-open issues that had already been concluded while Zanu-PF insisted that they should focus on the outstanding two Ministries of Finance and Home Affairs.

In Zanu-PF we have a culture of honouring commitments and we sometimes get irritated when others don’t reciprocate.”

He castigated the MDC-T for practising “megaphone diplomacy by continuously negotiating in public”, saying doing so was acting in bad faith and in violation of the confidentiality clause in the agreement.
“We can not get anywhere if we take a posturing or negotiating in the media, like through the Internet, CNN, BBC and SABC. What the public needs to understand is that constituting a Cabinet is a heavy responsibility.

The task should better be left to the principals and not to too many people who could be motivated by selfish interests or the desire to bring about a certain outcome that could suit self-interests “like a hunter who goes hunting with salt and pepper,” he said.

“We also agreed that sanctions must be lifted and none of the MDCT leaders have privately or publicly called for the lifting of sanctions, all they do is mourning about the suffering of the Zimbabwean people and forget to mention the cause of that suffering which is primarily sanctions,” he said.

Right. So “MDC-T reportedly sought to re-open issues that had already been concluded”. Is it just me, or does Zanu-PF define “been concluded” as “it is so because I said so”? I can’t prove anything, but still… and “culture of honoring commitments”?? Muahaha! Me be laughing in face of government paid journalist who wrote that. How about the commitment of any government to make sure your people doesn’t STARVE TO DEATH?? How about any governments commitment not to KILL ITS OWN CITIZENS??” Culture of honoring commitments… *mumbles something*. Of course MDC-T is being open about the negotiations. Have you heard what a crime? They openly tell the media about the negotiations? How dare they embrace free speech? People might – God forbid – know the truth and may be “motivated by selfish interests or the desire to bring about a certain outcome that could suit self-interests” – like the self interest of being able to EAT for example.

Of course, the evil MDC-T leaders are only “mourning about the suffering of the Zimbabwean people and forget to mention the cause of that suffering which is primarily sanctions”. Yes, sure. The sanctions. The sanctions are to blame for the problems. It has nothing to do with the fact that the farmers who actually knew how to grow food were thrown out. It’s not at all related to the destruction the government made. I just get so mad when I read that… he is blaming the MDC-T for mourning the suffeing of the Zimbabwean people. Ok, calm down… count to 10 slowly…

Now, in this article that has dissappeared it was reported about a shop that was legally and under the Zimbabwean central bank’s supervision selling some products in Zimbabwean dollars and some products in foreign currency. There’s still reports on that on the central bank’s homepage. It’s called “FOLIWARS” What? Foolish Wars? What? No, it’s FOreign exchange LIcenced WArehouses and Retail Shops”. The trade in foreign currency has been going on on the black market for so long now, that the government apparently realised that in order to get rid of it, they need to make it legal. On the pdf document on the bank’s homepage they say the following (my comments in paranthesis):

As Monetary Authorities, we have watched and observed with heavy hearts the suffering of fellow Zimbabweans as they waited and continue to wait in long queues at the borders seeking to bring in basic commodities. (As we ate our cheeseburgers when we observed these poor people from our limousine windows we felt so sorry for them we couldn’t watch it any longer. We took another sip from our glass of wine and asked our drivers to take us home to our mansions)

We have also seen desperate mothers and youths spending cold nights in foreign lands in pursuit of basic commodities. (This really does break our hearts. Poor poor people. Sometimes I really wish I could give away my entire fortune to them. I do. But I can’t just give away loads of money, you know. That would cause… inflation…)

Here at home, our hearts are bleeding at the daily sights of workers being laid off their jobs due to industrial capacity underutilization (Luckily, the bank of Zimbabwe is always properly manned with competent overpaid staff. Actually, we just print our own salary).

Against this background, it has become compellingly clear that innovations be invoked to increase internal capacity utilization, as well as shoring up the availability of basic goods and services (I don’t know why we didn’t think of that 4 years ago, but whatever)

It is for this reason; the reason to stand for and defend the welfare of fellow Zimbabweans that the FOLIWARS are being introduced for an initial period of 18 months to 31 March, 2010 as an experiment as we gear ourselves for the 2010 World Cup Games which must find ourselves ready to cater for all visitors to our country. (In other words, we will stop letting people use foreign currency in local shops just before the world cup. Striking logic, isn’t it? And of course, the welfare of fellow Zimbabweans is the reason we do this. It is perfectly clear that people whose entire savings have been erased by the inflation, who have been thrown out of their homes and that live in the mud of the street can still easily buy things with foreign currency. Totally).

Yes, as is typical with any innovations, there would be those who forever are perpetual critics who would be quick to condemn this intervention as unsustainable. We all know what the Wright Brothers went through back in 1903, as they worked to develop what we now marvel as modern aircraft. (And of course a monetary idea that might or might not work when the local currency inflation has reached 11 million percent is totally comparable to the invention of airplanes. Did anyone say absurd?)

Ok, I really need to finish this post now, it has been long enough. Just one more thing. Here’s another copy paste from an article no longer available from a government owned newspaper:

Gross domestic product has fallen by more than 50 percent during this period while agriculture production, the country’s mainstay, has fallen drastically.

However, there is economic hope from the talks currently going on between Zimbabwe’s two main political parties, Zanu-PF and MDC that an agreement will help calm the financial storm.

This must be the closest I’ve reached a government aknowledge of the existence of the Murambatsvina. It says the agriculture production has fallen drastically, but doesn’t want to say why. We can only hope that above mentioned agreement between crazy killers and normal people, that won’t even talk to one another, can calm down the financial storm. But first they need to resolve who is playing golf with who and who is more white than black and vice versa.



  1. it is very sad when Zim ends up like this. I was there in 1994 and by nature standards and the compassion of the regular folk, it is a wonderful and absolutely breath takingly beautiful country. I can not imagine what it must feel like to be in that situation. but mugabe has it figured out in his brainless head – if you starve and torture a people long enough, they will not have the strength to fight back. Just wait my man, just wait…

  2. The moustache says it all. What is it about deranged dictators and weird moustaches?

  3. I am impressed at how much you have put into this, I don’t mean that lightly either. Zimbabwe is close to my heart as I have family there, each day they go to the shop and they can’t buy simple things like milk, bread or jam for their bread. Peanut butter? Luxury. They all pay 25 million zim dollars to get into SA (the max limit to leave Zim with) and then have to pay 75 million to get back in (yeah one subject they dont have is maths?).

    So sad, I hope that the killings stop soon.

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