§255 Jewish Catholic jokeOctober 20, 2008
Moyshe and Rivka are having difficulties being jews in a medieval Europe. Moyshe has been out of work for quite some time now. It’s now Friday. Shabbat is approaching and they have nothing to eat. Moyshe says “Rivka, let’s go to the priest and let him convert us. If we do so he will surely give us a little money for food”. So the go to the priest. The priest asks Moyshe “What’s your name?” “Moyshe” he replies. The priest sprinkels holy water on him, makes the sign of the cross and says “You are now baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. You are no longer Moyshe, you are Peter”.
After that Moyshe’s wife goes to him. The priest asks Rivka “What’s your name?” “Rivka” she replies. The priest sprinkels holy water on her, makes the sign of the cross and says “You are now baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. You are no longer Rivka, you are Maria”.
He gives them some charity and they go home to cook shabbat dinner. Their neighbors have all hear that they are now converted and are therefore quite surprised when they smell meat from their apartment. “Are Peter and Maria cooking meat? On a Friday? That can’t be, they’re catholics now!” They run to the priest and tell him. “Are you sure?” he says. “Sure we are!” they reply. “Well, that can’t be. Why I just converted them to catholisism, and I did explain to them that we do not eat meat on Fridays. I will go and talk to them”.
He arrives, and sure enough smells meat cooking. He knocks on their door. Peter opens. “Peter!” he says. “Are you cooking meat on a Friday? How come I smell meat here?” Peter says “It’s not meat, it’s fish!”. The priest demands to see the pot. Peter shows him. The priest sees two large chunks of steak. “This is not fish, Peter!” exclaims the priest. This is meat!”
“Sure it’s fish!” Peter replies, “I sprinkled holy water on it, made the sign of the cross and said “You are now baptized in the name of the Father Son and the Holy Ghost. You are no longer meat, you are fish!”