Archive for December, 2008

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§264 GO BACK IN TIME or you’re a CRIMINAL of TAX FRAUD!

December 29, 2008

This feels new. I’m blogging again. I need to get the feel back. I’m not used to this. Except for a few posts when something really needed to be said (like when I was wearing make up) I’ve been totally gone for a few months. So I’ll start with a small update about ME. Because ME is the most important issue to discuss in the world, so the update and the focus should be on ME. So let’s sum it up:

Work: Stock count, end of the year, auditing… everything every accountant does every year at this time. But for me it’s the first time. This is something I’ll remember for the rest of my life. And hopefully I’ll do a few necessary mistaked that’ll help me learn for the future. I’m gonna be a super accountant! Tamtamtadaa! I just hope that SOME people around will get a LITTLE more organized. I’m preparing for stock count and someone tells me “I took out a thing from the shop. I think it was a ******. Should I write an invoice for it?” I answer GAAAAAH! First of all stop THINKING and start KNOWING what you’re taking out from the shop! How on EARTH are we supposed to do stock count when you take OUT stuff WITHOUT making an invoice and then THINK what you’re taking out instead of KNOWING! Now, I don’t care how you do it but you GO BACK IN TIME and find out EXACTLY what you took out, or you’re a CRIMINAL of TAX FRAUD! Nothing leaves a business without an invoice! NOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHING! GAAAAAH! (This is where my head starts spinning around and my eyes gets a greenish tone and start twirling around).

Studies: Totally miscalculation of me to think I can handle 3 courses. I’ve only enlisted to 2 courses next semester, and I hope to handle the current pressure and finish these three. I hope. In February we’ll know. In any case, the situation at the moment is pretty GAAAAAAH:y.

Immediate Family: It’s our ANNIVERSARY today! We’ve been married six long years! That’s as long as two military services! Or like junior high and high school together! And I still feel I love her more and more for every day, and I can never get enough of her. I just want to be with her more and more. And thinking back on the wedding… It feels like I barely knew her… and still I apparently knew her well enough to fall in love with her and marry her.  ILOVEHERILOVEHERILOVEHERILOVEHER!!!!!!!! MWAH! and ARGH (The argh is from nibbling her ear – a cannibalistic instinct)

Internet: I wrote a post before I “left” about which blogs I would keep reading in any case. I can say to that “Bwahaha”. I have almost 700 unread posts in my RSS, and there’s no WAY that I’ll read everything. The only blogs I’ve really been following are my wife’s and my brother Joseph’s.

Extended family: My sister has been visiting from Sweden. So great to see her again. My brother Jonathan performed in Sweden with his band on Christmas Day for the probably very last time. My brother Joseph has another band called “The Sudden Moves” that so far only make concerts in Sweden. I haven’t heard their stuff yet, because they need a professional studio to record their stuff. On top of that he’s working on a standup act that he will perform in April. He is very talented and funny. I hope someone discovers him soon. Whether as a music star or as a comedian.

Kids: Cute and cuddly and huggy and beautiful and wonderful as always. I rarely finish work early enough to get home before they go to bed, but I did a few times during chanuka, and when I did, the welcome I received, and the hugs and the smiles – it just takes all the work and study stress away. Mmmmm! how I love them! I know they’re the reason I work and study so hard, still I need them to help me get through it.

Health: We were one large miserable puking family on the 23rd. Actually, on the evening of the 22nd. On the 23rd we just laid around the house trying to recover. Well, except for Emunah. She got sick a few days earlier and we all caught it from her, so on the 22nd she was all healthy and up and about. The kids recovered in the end pretty good. I got back to work on the 24th. We’re pretty ok now.

Religion: As usual. But we did stay home from congregation this Shabat to let the kids have the chanuka vacation they didn’t get when they were home sick. I was supposed to preach, but I asked someone else. I’ll preach this Shabat instead.

Politics: I still plan to vote Bibbi. I have no choice.

Military: Our country just made a surprise-defense. After being attacked for very long, not defending ourselves, we made a surprise-defense yesterday. About time. International media talk about proportional warfare. I don’t really understand that. Since when is proportions something to consider in warfare? You fight the fight you have to fight with the means you have. I didn’t see the states attack Iraq with sticks and stones in order to keep proportions, and “give Saddam a fair chance”. The goal is not to keep a proportioned warfare, the goal is to WACK THE HAMAS OFF THIS PLANET.

Sexuality: Good, thanks, and how are you?

Estetically: I’m considering shaving off my beard completely.

Economy: Crappy as always.

Holidays: Hanuka, anniversary, and new counting year. The year we usually count with is changing for some reason. It has to do with a roman god called Janus. I think I wrote about that last year.

 

That’s all for today folks, thankyou very much, you’ve been a wonderful audience. Take care of yourselves – and each other.

And beware of the man in black.

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§263 I’m wearing make up

December 19, 2008

I’m sitting in front of the computer with make up on. Yeah, that’s right.

Now I’m wondering. Is this torture something every woman feels she HAS to force her man to do? I just got out of the shower, had only put my boxers on, and she calls me to the bathroom. There she stands with the mascara brush in her right hand and a look in her eyes that says “Come here! Let me do stuff on you”.

-Nononono!

-Yeeees, please? You have so beautiful eyes, I want to see what they look like in mascara. Just for me, we’ll wash it right off.

When she uses a compliment like that I can’t really resist. But the next thing I know, I’m wearing lip gloss, eye shadow…. bunch of other crap that I don’t even know the names of – in the face. And she put up my hair (that’s a sign that my hair has grown too long).

How do you women put up with wearing this crap in your face every day? What if you sneeze? What if you get something in your eye? What if you’re burying your face in your hands?

And how do you get the mustache to look good?

Positive though – I know what my wife is going through every day when she wears this. But I can’t believe she does it voluntarily. But I have to admit – it does emphasize her beauty. Another positive thing – I can easily make my wife laugh now. All I need to do is to look at her with a flirting blinking look and she bursts with laughter.

So, here I am. Sitting in front of the computer wearing nothing but make up and boxers. I’m cold. And this was definitelly the first and last time in my life I’m wearing make up. And no, no photos. I will not get near a camera now, besides it was part of the deal. I let her make me up – but no cameras. Deal.

So – bottom line. Never judge a woman sensible enough to resist putting crap in her face (rather admire her walking against the crowd).

Now I must force my wife to do something manly… like… hammer drill? No, she already does that. Paint the kitchen? She does that too. If we get a car, start learning the mechanics of it? Nah, she already knows much better than me (and I probably won’t drive it anyway). What can I say? She wears the pants. And the skirt. I’m only wearing boxers. And make up.

I am so happy I have my crazy wife. I would get so bored with a normal one. It’s these crazy things that make me go nuts about her. I love her, I love her, I love her!!

Now, it’s time to get this crap out of my face.