§265 Tired… so tiredJanuary 1, 2009
Never ever ever again 3 courses at once. I can’t deal with it. It’s impossible. A few weeks ago I focused on the accounting and the macroeconomy course to get the papers in in time, and neglected price theory where I have recorded lessons. Now I still have 6 hours of lessons left of price theory just to catch up to be able to do the paper that is due on Sunday. There’s a bunch of papers in every course, and a minimum requirement. In accounting I’ve done the minimum, and could, theoretically, stop study, and then learn all I need really really fast before the test. In price theory and macroeconomy I’ve reached the point where I must hand in almost everything left in order to make it.
If I fail to hand in everything I won’t fail the class. But the papers not handed in will get zero points which will affect my average, and as a result I must get a much higher grade in the test in order to pass.
Yesterday I was up until 0200 seeing a lesson in price theory. (Only 6 hours left to see). I got up at 6 this morning to get to accounting class in time (not the same as the univeristy studies). Need to go much earlier today, because the traffic jams at the checkpoint are much worse nowadays because of higher alert due to Gaza situation.
The local Maale Adumim paper screamed with desperation, how the government DARE neglect the inhabitants of Maale Adumim like that. I say shut up. The Palestinians go through 5 checkpoints a day going to work, even if they stay inside the West Bank. How can you, as a settler, say that that’s ok, and complain about the checkpoints you go through and still look at yourself in the mirror? I don’t get it. I’m considering writing something to the paper.
I had an argument in accounting class today with a couple of settlers. I’m a settler myself, and I do believe in the concept, but these had some weird view that I really can’t understand. She told us her bus was hit by a rock thrown by an arab on her way here. It smashed the door glass but no one was hurt. Then she turns to me and says “and you still think we shouldn’t be racists”. And then she goes on that “they are all like that” and that “they all voted for Hamas, they’re alll terrorists. If they clap their hands at terrorists acts they don’t belong in this country”. I try to understand what she is saying… “so you say we should evict them all? How can you believe that and still be against evicting settlements? Isn’t evicting people from their homes immoral whatever circumstances?” But no, the settlers in Gaza had bought the land fair and square, and they had cultivated the country, etc, etc. It sounded like she was arguing with me that the disengagement was wrong. No need to convince me, I’m with you. But I think evicting is immoral in any case, no matter jews or arabs, no matter settlers or palestinians. Then I asked how she can be mad at people being happy about the suicide bombs, if she is happy at the civilians killed in Gaza. I explained that I’m in favor of this defense, but we should still be able to feel sorry for the killed civilians. Apparently nono from her. The civilians there are to blame that they live there. Hamas is using the area to shoot on us, it’s the civilians’ responsibility to leave the area. Besides, they all voted Hamas in any case…
I reallly really hope that most settlers are not like her. I tried to bring it to religion. Aren’t all humans created in God’s image? Shouldn’t we be able to feel sorry for every killed human being, no matter who he was or what he did? Of course we should be glad that our country is finally defending our civilians. But we should still be able to see the suffering on the other side. The Palestinians are suffering from Hamas terror acts too.
Problem is, that since the intifada, and since all problems in the released/occupied areas (whichever you want to call them), I’m afraid that most settlers are like this. Because anyone thinking clearly will put his children before ideology, and would leave the area. Only the extremists are left. In the end, isn’t that also the terrorisms fault? It’s a bad circle. Terrorists do violence. Normal Israelis and Palestinians leave. Extremist settlers and soldiers are left. Crazy israelis are the only israelis palestinians see. They think we are all like that, and with a little Hamas brainwash, they become terrorists too, and so the circle goes on. It has gone on like that ever since the mufti of Jerusalem Haj-Amin al-Husseini started the jihad against jews. It has gone on for almost 100 years. Will it ever end? I’m not sure. As long as there’s a few terrorist fundamentalists, they will make sure the suffering goes on and on. And as long as there’s suffering, the mighty arab (and iranian) dictators will have a way to unify their people – hate against Israel. It will go on as long as the fundamentalism and the suffering is serving the interest of mighty and rich people.
If there was no conflict in Israel, the arab nations would most probably make up one.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m still against a two-state solution, and I still believe this is our God given land. I just think that narrow minded idiots make things worse. If you can’t see a situation from your opponents point of view, you should get away from the situation alltogether.
On the other hand I can also understand this settler. When you experience these things, it makes a personal impression that can be impossible to shake off. When you see that entire crowds of arabs make boo-whistles during a silent minute for terror victims (happened at a soccer game after the yeshiva shootings – israeli arabs, not even palestinians), it’s very easy to think they are all like that. And to a certain extense she is right too. But then she can’t complain that they think that all jews are like her, who wants them evicted.
I spoke a few years ago with another settler who had a much brighter mind. He actually said that “if I believed that moving to Tel Aviv would bring peace – I would do it. But I don’t think it will. It will only bring the front closer to israeli population”. The Gaza disengagement certainly proved him right. He also said that he has no problem with the palestinians living where they live, as long as they don’t have a problem with him living where he lives. There are huge beautiful areas in the West Bank, and there’s plenty of room for everybody. I hope that more settlers are like him. I really hope so.
Why did I reach this rant? I was only speaking of the traffic jam this morning, and it got to this… oh, well. Besides all that, I will be busy changing from 2008 to 2009 at this place. We got the inventory done yesterday (and today in Tel Aviv). I am looking forward to get all this done with. Both at work and the studies. But I have a couple of months left at both.
Why can’t I ever write short things? Why does it always get to this? No one will ever read all that.
Happy celebration of the fact that January is named after the two-faced roman God Janus, and enjoy the upcoming voyage around the sun, named “2009” because of a certain monk’s miscalculation. I celebrated my new years a couple of months ago.